Cold-Hearted.. I can be..

Yes. I can be like that. I've been like that many times before. You know, the type who you cannot talk to, plainly being cold. I don't know why sometimes i act that way. I just think when I don't like what I am feeling or seeing, that's my way of saying "STOP". People around me easily notice when I act like that, especially those who are close to me. When they talk to me, I give them a cold reply, as if they don't exist for me. I think that's normal to feel that way. especially when you got nothing to say. I know it's not good, but it's not something I can always control

My heart bears too much pain and hurt I guess but I hardly notice it because I keep on saying that I would be okay. But the truth I am not going to be okay. If I keep on going on like this, it would be hell eventually. I need to break off from things and people for the meantime. It will just affect them if I stay even if I am already hurting. My heart feels so cold lately and I don’t know how I would cope with this. And I don’t want to hear anymore that my moods are affecting them, it isn't easy to control when you know you have no power over your moods. That’s why I would stay away for a while, I am just asking for some space for myself. I always been around for them for such a long time, but when I am the one who is in need, they vanished. That sucks a lot.

I feel that my heart is already falling apart again. And if it’s about love, I guess I’ve lose the fight again. I always lose eventually and I know that fact. And literally speaking I feel pain in my heart and it hurts too much already. I am barely hanging on. It aches a lot recently, but I am ignoring the pain. That's why I am cold at times. That's the only way I can be okay. If only staying away isn't bad, I've done it a long time ago. My heart needs a break.